You cant change others but you can change yourself.
When we were young, many of us were taught to believe that we weren’t in control of our lives, and we were conditioned to just take what we were given and be happy with it. We were also taught to blame something outside of ourselves for things in our life that we are not happy with. We blame our parents, our friends, the media, the government, our clients, the weather, the economy, and most of all our spouses and partners. Somehow we never want to think that the real problem could start with ourselves. We make up excuses or complain, we have our victim stories, and reasons why we “can’t.” Have you ever noticed that people almost always complain to the wrong people, to people who can’t do anything about it. Why? Because it’s easier. It takes more effort and courage to tell your spouse that you are not happy at home, or tell your boss that you are not happy with the way they pile too much work on you. But who do we unload on?
We either create or allow what happens to us. And to start creating the dream life we want, we have to take 100% responsibility and give up all blaming, justification, and excuses forever. It may have served us in the past, and sometimes we got what we wanted, but it didn’t last long. And here we are wondering why we still haven’t been able to have the life we want.
Let’s look at what our beliefs are…
If we believe we that we are always sick, then we will always be sick. If we believe that the pain in our body will only get worse, then we will remain in pain for the rest of our lives. If we believe that we have allergies because it runs in the family, then we will continue to have allergies. Our beliefs create our outcome. We choose to accept the sickness, the pain, and the allergies as, “that’s just the way it is.”
What if we could begin to believe that we can be well, even after years of being sick. What if we can become pain free, what if it is possible? What if, after having allergies all our lives, we can become allergy free. What if we could do all of this with no medications? What if we could simply change our beliefs and get the outcome we want. What if it is really that simple? Yes, it is that simple. The hard part (and this may just be a belief of mine) is that when we have been conditioned for so long to believe something, it takes time and consistency to change the belief to get the new results. Even while we are in pain, suffering from allergies, struggling with finances, we can start to trick the subconscious mind into thinking we are well, and have financial freedom. After a while we will start to see a change in our experience that is in alignment with our new beliefs. Some experts say that it takes 21 days to change a habit, I have found that it can happen in less time.
Another tool we can use to help change our beliefs, is to change the way we respond to certain events. E + R = O (Event + Response = Outcome) The basic idea of this tool is that every outcome we have experienced in life has been a result of how we have respond to the event in the past. You may have herd the saying, “If you keep doing what you’ve always done, then you’ll keep getting what you’ve always got.” It is very true, we have to change the way we respond to things in order to get the desired outcome. Everything that we experience today, is a result of the choices we have made in the past.
1. What is something that you are experiencing in your life that you are not happy with?
2. How have you responded to this in the past?
3. What is your old belief?
4. What is your new belief?
5. How could you respond differently?
6. What do you want your new outcome to be?